Getting Older, Changing Moods

*After finally getting a chance to revisit this blog after a few weeks, I found that this post, which I wrote before going to Michigan, never posted. So I'm posting it now. Some of what I wrote may or may not have more meaning now that my Michigan trip has come to an end, but I think there are some good things in this blog. 

If you’re still with me after my recent hiatus, thank you! Things got a little hairy, I got a little lazy, and I decided I just needed to take a step back, give myself some down time, and focus on getting a few big projects out of the way before I could get back into my smaller projects.


While some things have been taken care of, life is still moving at a full stride. Big projects are still afoot, tapering off just enough to give me some time to do other things. Travel season for Jon and I is here. As of the time I’m writing this, we’re only a few hours away from heading out on the open road to Michigan to visit family and friends for a week. I’m excited, but I’m also nervous. It’s good to see family, but people change, even loved ones, and there’s no guarantee that we’re going to “click” and get along like we may have in the past.

Then again, there’s always the chance we may get along better, too, which is what I’m ultimately hoping for.

I feel like I’ve gotten older and grumpier and more apathetic, and while I go through “let’s do this” phases, most of the time I’d rather just hang out and chill. I’m not one to put forth a lot of effort into group activities. I’ve become more selfish, which isn’t a huge stretch since I’ve always been a bit self centered. I still play the passive aggressive card but my aggression has moments where it completely overshadows the passive side. I’m quick to judge and I’m quick to write people off who tweak me even a little bit from the start.

I’ve become arrogant, yet I hate arrogance in others. I love being the one who “knows” things, but I find it irritating when others go out of their way to spout off the things they know. I make mistakes and that’s okay, but when I have to fix someone else’s mistakes I feel the need to throw things.

When you break it down into these components, I sound like a horrible person, and yet I like myself more today than I did 10 years ago. I have a sense of self that I think continues to grow and change with age. I’m proud of my accomplishments, happy with the freedom I currently have in my life, and gladly loyal to those I consider true friends. Sure, I cry a lot, I’m not eating as healthy as I should be and some days my moodiness alienates people, but it’s all a part of who I am. Fighting against that won’t help, so I’ve learned to roll with it.

And contrary to what it sounds like, I do think I have some pretty good karma going, at least in some areas. So with this coming weekend, I will remember that not only have I changed, but so has my family and while we have memories of how things “used to be,” time makes it impossible for those things to stay that way.

Hopefully we can all roll with it and have a good time.

Michigan Trip Day 1

Technically, I suppose this could be considered day 2, but since all of yesterday was spent on the road, I kind of consider this to be the first real day of vacation. The drive was extremely long and a little boring. We left town at about 3:30 am, but that turned out not to be such a great idea because I didn't get enough sleep. Finally, somewhere in Missouri, I pulled over to a road side stop and took about a 40 minute nap. I was going to take some pictures, but when I woke up I was feeling refreshed and ready to get back to driving.

Jon is a heavy duty car sleeper and he ended up crashing out on me early. I listened to alot of music and managed to get through my new Lacuna Coil CD twice (awesome music so listening to it twice wasn't bad at all). We made several pit stops for bathroom breaks, a few for gas, and one for food. It was lovely to find that Taco Bells in Michigan are a little more competent than the ones in Manhattan. Once he woke up, we put on an audio book called "The Amazing Adventures of Fan Boy and Goth Girl." It's geared for teens but we were really enjoying it. Tomorrow we head up north and will get to listen to some more of it.

We got in a little after 8 eastern time last night. Mom and I went to Wal-Mart to get dinner stuff and we stayed up until Dad got home at around 11:30. Then we crashed hardcore. I had every intention of sleeping in, but I only made it to 8:00 this morning beforeI was up. Mom and I watched Repo!, which she liked (I knew she would) and I chatted with the parents for a little bit until Jon got up. The rest of the morning was just kind of mellow. We walked to the post office to drop off our change of address forms, and Dad introduced us to one of the elderly neighbor ladies he visits. She's kind of feisty. She wanted to tell the manager of the park to shove a turkey up her butt...how many elderly ladies do you hear say stuff like that??

This afternoon, I got to do something I've been waiting all year to do. We went thrifting (garage sales are next weekend). We hit the Salvation Army and the Goodwill store, and I scored a bunch of stuff. I got these two skeins of yarn which will look really good together for some project.

I also scored another big bag of yarn with more pastels, one of them a pretty pink that I'm using to make my a scarf for my friend's new baby. (Can't get the pics to load for those this time arond though).

I also found this pretty pillow with the cool oriental pattern on it. I think we bought one like it from our neighbors when we got our sofa and chair, so I grabbed this one up. I almost left it, but my mom made a good point when she mentioned that even if it didn't work for our living room, for fifty cents we had an insert for another pillow.

Jon picked up the Mulan soundtrack and I found this adorable jar that has no real purpose other than it was cute and I liked it. I'm thinking it will be good for q-tips.

I don't think I've ever taken a trip where I haven't brought along something to read. This time around though, all my books were packed. Granted, I have enough knitting and crocheting stuff to keep me busy, but I enjoy Jennifer Crusie so I picked this up for some pre-bedtime reading. I couldn't resist these little tupperware containers, mainly because I want to try to make Bento boxes and these are the perfect size and shape for them. My only reservation was the pattern on top of the white lidded containers. However, I think Jon's going to help me paint them, so that can just be another crafty project. After thrifting we came home to relax. Come to find out, my parents do have internet, it's just not wireless so we're having to share one connection. Not really a big deal. We're heading to my grandma's tomorrow and I'm pretty sure there will be no internet to be had where she lives. Tonight we're just going to hang with the parents and leave fairly early tomorrow morning for Mio. So far, the trip has been nice...my parents even took the news of the engagement well and everyone is getting along. My sister can't bring my nephew over tonight, but I'll get to see him next Wednesday. Next week I'll also get to hang with some friends down here and do some more thrifting.